Published May 3, 2014
In silence somewhere
I lay bound
Who knows where
In some unforgotten time
They went ahead of me
With great long strides
But still you remained
Right here beside me
But then you refused to stop
You didn't hear my humble words
I fear that dreaded time came back
How could you just say goodbye.....say goodbye
The times of loneliness
Im facing now again
Did you know ?
Cause up till yesterday
You were my life
I just don't understand
Saying those vows we took
Those cold nights we spent
Did they say good bye too ?
Torment........ torment they scream at me
The every step that you take
Every time you look back
My heart screams out to me
The tearing good bye
They seem to say
Good bye....good bye
Now what else is there to say
When you just turned and said
Good bye...good bye
Its not enough
You have to say it
Your very eyes seem to swim
With those words of good bye
It comes as no surprise
My eyes wander after you
When you have already left
Just a chance to hold that gaze again
Did you know?
They search for you everywhere
Night and day....
Nome nights like these
Without any excuse
I lie awake
Tryin to remember those days
And then i wonder why
You had to do what you did
Was i nothing to you
Just a sad good bye
Good bye...why good bye?
I feel like asking her
I just feel numb all over
Everything's in a daze
Did i think right?
What did she say?
I hear only good bye
Good bye...good bye
Now what else is there to say
When you just turned and said
Good bye......
Even though that time has now passed
Why does my heart still see you everywhere
Every turn, every corner
Every familiar sight
Finds you beckoning
If only you stayed a little bit longer
The sad good bye that it was
Remains a secret no more
My heart keeps worrying
Every second of the hour
Why did you have to say
Good bye
Good bye......good bye
I feel like asking why
What did she think about
And have to say
Good bye.......
Good bye...good bye
Now what else is there to say
When you just turned and said
Good bye......
-THE END-
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140,545 Literary Works • 673,419 Reviews
Hello budding writer, I'll give a short review.
I can't actually critique this one. This is extremely superlative work of yours! You should write more lyrics (I found only one in your portfolio)
First and foremost, I would like to tell you that the flow of this lyrics was not good - IT WAS TERRIFIC/OUTSTANDING. Lyrics are hard to review, but easiest to read and hardest to write! Kudos for writing such a smooth 'song'. Yup. Song is only word I can use. (Those lyrics could actually be made into a song!)
Some of your previous reviewers said about punctuations but I won't go into grammar. (It's a serious problem for me so I wouldn't talk about it)
Sorry for such a short review, it was too good! Keep up the awesome work!
Thanks alot for the review! I'm already thinking about the tune to this one.. your more than welcome if you wanna help!
Not a lot to criticize.
I will say that the spaces before the question marks aren't necessary. Also, you missed some important punctuation such as the apostrophe before "till" in line 16.
Also, since you are writing words after periods such as the line "Good bye...good bye", the first letter should be capitalized. Ex. "Goodbye...Goodbye". Oh, and you don't have to put a space in between "Good" and "Bye".
Don't mean to be harsh; Trying to win the Review Day contest!
Thanks anyway for the review!
Hello, buddingwriter, Griff here for a short review!
First off, I really enjoyed this. The lyrics were very inspirational and thought out. Do you have music to go along with it? If so, what kind of music do you mean it to be? Rock, slow, pop, etc.? I would like to know.
One thing I would like to say is that I would like more clarification on stanzas and the main chorus. Even though I could tell after a while, I would just like some space or something to separate it out a bit. Also, when using ellipses, "..." is perfectly fine when you mean for it to trail off. Too many periods start looking a bit sloppy, in my opinion and in grammatical terms, but it is up to you if this is meant to be heard, not read.
Overall, great song. I really would like to hear it if you ever recorded it.
Great job and keep writing!
~GC
Well it would definitely be slow, maybe slow rock. I'm really hoping to put the music in cause right now its not complete. Its kinda like a project I'm working on. Thanks for the review!
Cool. I'd like to hear it if you do that.
I'll let you know
Hi
Wow that's really good!
There's just a part where it says:
"Night and day....
Nome nights like these"
I'm going to take a guess and say that instead of 'nome' it was meant to be 'some'. Unless of course you were referring to one of the provinces of ancient Egypt, which I highly doubt. Anyway, really well written.
Good job. Keep writing.
Thanks!
Hey!
This reminds me so much about what I'm dealing with right now. I love it so much. I was wondering if you could help me with writing stuff it would really mean a lot to me. YOU ARE AN AMAZING WRITER!
I would love to help you out and thanks alot for the comment!